Matatu's Bring Out The Worst (& Best) out of a Kenyan Boy
I can't fail to remember Ochichi - my Kenyan Boy. Seven years ago he used to be our school "stand-up comedian". He used to drop "big ones" when the Mchongono dual's got dry. "Funnyly", all were somehow related to a matatu, paying fair in a matatu or a guy in a mutatu. In the last case, the guy was always me, my father, my mother etc.
I hated it but the guy was so strong I couldn't add him to my closing-day wanted-list. If I could his name would have been No.1, in red, font-size 24, in bold, italics and heavily underlined. :(
Dedicated to
Ochichi:- Wewe ni mrefu mpaka ukibebwa na matatu, kutoka kwa magoti, unawekwa kwa carrier
- Hao yenu ni sooo mpaka unapanda matthree kufika bafu
- Budako ni fala alienda airport akauliza kama kuna ndege pick up
- Ati manzi yako manzi yako ni mjinga mpaka driving school alienda boarding.
- Nyamba yenu ni kubwa sana mpaka ndani yako kuna round-about
- Kwenu mko wengi mpaka mnatumia Megarider kuingia
- Unaingianga kwa basi na stool ati ndio usilipe kiti.
- Mlango za gari yenyu huwa zinafungwa na vifungo za shati.
- Unamatako kubwa mpaka watu hupata marao na kuidandia kama mathree.
- Kenyan's love matatus :)
About
Ochichi,s whereabouts, the last time I saw him he was helping me get into "his" No:144 matatu.
12 Good Morning Good Morning- Asubuhi Asubuhi
Just overslept today and I didn't have time to get any breakfast. This should do it for you if you are as hungry as me.
I got them from
BlackKnutz's blog &
mashada mchongoano forum.
- Asubuhi Asubuhi avocado na harufu ya vitunguu.
- Asubuhi asubuhi... ICE na KITUNGUU.
- Asubuhi asubuhi vodo na vitunguu.
- Asubuhi Asubuhi kokoto na kumi kumi.
- Asubuhi Asubuhi Patco na mapera.
- Asubuhi asubuhi goodygoody na makojoo ya ngamia
- Asubuhi asubuhi harufu ya gumboot na BIGG G.
- Asubuhi asubuhi mapera na maziwa ya nguruwe.
- Asubuhi asubuhi koo na omena.
- Asubuhi asubuhi ugali ya simiti na mboga za gazeti.
- Asubuhi asubuhi chapo na colgate'.
- Asubuhi asubuhi na socks ya juzi na kucha.
I'm sure this makes a good Kenyan breakfast for today!
maybe its just me: MCHONGOANOThis guy has got a cool 16 mchongono quotes going... .
In the spirit KWENYU:
TV yenu nzee hureceive VoK news
Nyinyi wengi kwenyu budako uwanga na 'Buda press unit'
Walls za kwenyu ni thin neighbour akikata kitunguu mnaanza kulia
Hao yenu bigi mpaka ukifungua mlango ya nyuma unatokea ocha
Nyinyi mko broke lunch yenu ni supu na gazeti !!
Home Kwenyu kunachongolewa - Kisii Style The Worst 12
I had to notice this
Kisii guys and girls had a deadly Kenyan Mchongono going about "KWENYU".
I wonder what will happen to the chapo photocopier when the average kenyan home will have less than 2 siblings.
Here are the worst 12:
- Kwenyu mko wengi mpaka mkipika Chapo mnaziphotocopy ndio zitoshe.
- Kwenyu mko wengi mpaka kuna roll call mkiamka na mkilala.
- Kwenyu ni wengi mpaka mkifungua mlango asubuhi mnamwagika kwenda nje.
- Kwenyu nyinyi ni wengi mpaka mna parallel programme
- Kwenyu hamna choo, mnatuma wageni msituni na jembe.
- Kwenyu mnakula sukuma wiki na mkate
- Kwenyu mko wengi mpaka mnatumia Megarider kuingia
- Hati Kwenyu ni kuchafu mpaka mende zinavalia slippers.
- Shagz za kwenyu ni-dry mpaka ng’ombe ukamuliwa maziwa powder
- Nyumbani kwenyu ni kusafi mpaka hamuhitaji choo....
- Nyumba yenu ni kubwa sana mpaka ndani yake kuna round-about.
- Unajidai na kwenu mwenye analala poa, analalia kiti cha baiskeli
If you have another "Kwenyu" oriented mchongono post it as a
comment.
JICHO La UHASAMA: Mchongoano,Hit me!
JICHO La UHASAMA: Mchongoano,Hit me!Like this is random. but cool
This is so cool. Though the guys at Jicho La UHASAMA have not posted for like 3 Kenyan months.
The third one rocks --- read it and you know why kenyan rocks rock.
Mbuyu wako huhepa job kwenda kuswing na gate
Nyinyi wengi kwa family yenu mpaka munaweka bumps msigongane
Wewe mweusi mpaka ukirushiwa mawe inarudi kuitisha torch!
Mbuyu wako mnono mpaka akikalia hashu inkuwa kobole mbili!
Mchogoano - Testing
Mchongoano
